The day of her wedding approached and Ruto was in Hyrule market looking for a wedding dress. She had decided to get married in the traditional Zora pink and purple striped dress. The trouble was that hers had gone missing and there was no one who�d sell anything so disgusting. She stood there in the market watching the world go by. A girl pointlessly chased a chicken round and round the market, a couple were dancing - well, rotating round and round and that weird old man who looked like a wizard, well stood there looking like a wizard. Ruto thought about how the Zoras ended up with a pink and purple striped dress. It must have been her mothers� or her grandmothers�. Probably a colour blind Hylian Queen, as she knew no Zora king would ever mate with a non-royal person or fish. She suddenly saw the most beautiful white dress. It was cut perfectly with a large �skirt� which she knew would look beautiful on her, (as we can tell, she tends to have this annoying arrogance issue). Next to it were two ugly dresses, a pink one and a purple one, cut terribly- made for Sheikah women she thought. They had huge puffy sleeves. She knew she had to buy them, and cut them to make one pink dress with purple stripes.

The Gerudo Queens sat in their quiet Spirit Temple, Izbooru deciding that the best character in Buffy is Buffy, despite the name. Unfortunately not the most elegant of names, as Giles agrees. Linky had left them and they were now very bored. They decided they would do a Buffy thing and go �patrolling�. This involved walking round Hyrule field, looking cool with their swords and killing those annoying skeleton things that come up when the sun sets and go underground at dawn. It was the closest think they could find to Vampires. The queens, like true Gerudos, were excellent swordswomen and great fighters and killed many skeleton creatures, in Hyrule field. Tonight was different. Whilst they were slaying these evil creatures, the bleached blonde salesman walked by. Izbooru could not take her eyes off him and did not see the 20 stalkids walking towards her. Nazbooru was busy and warned Izbooru, but she was transfixed by his long leather jacket, his perfectly defined cheekbones and even his bleached hair. Just as they were about to stab Izbooru, from out of nowhere appeared a woman with a crossbow and pointy wooden stick. She jumped and stabbed, backflipped and stabbed and within two minutes, the stalkids were all dusted. Nazbooru thanked this strange woman, and so did Izbooru, as soon as she came to her senses. They suddenly recognised the stranger. It was Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!!!!! Buffy didn�t know quite where she was or how she got to this place where she didn�t know where she was. Everything seemed to be a bit of a blur. They asked here how she got to Hyrule and why she�d come but she simply replied that they�d won a competition from the tv guide and the prize was to meet Buffy in the flesh. All Buffy had to do was a photoshoot, sign a few autographs and get back home. Somehow. She took a good look around. Everything was pointy and the Gerudos certainly didn�t look familiar. They were wearing their kimono pyjama set. The bleached blond salesman introduced himself as William. Buffy flirted with him so Izbooru hit her. They dragged the unconscious slayer back to Gerudo valley.

It was the day of the Zora Queen�s wedding, and she looked like a blueberry meringue. She stood there, in Zora�s Domain, waiting for her guests, the whole of Hyrule, and her fianc�. She was quite taken with him when he came to sell her security equipment. She had agreed to buy it all as long as he�d marry her. After an hour of standing like a meringue, all the guests were there, even a few familiar faces, like Linky, and uhhhhh... Saria. Ruto hated Saria because she knew Linky loved Saria. But today was her day, and she wouldn�t let anything like jealousy get in the way of her big moment, when SHE would get married. The music started as the groom arrived, a fashionable two hours late. He was received by a humongous sound of gasping as no one could believe that such an attractive man would marry a fish. It was no one other than...

The bleached blonde salesman!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Goron King Darunia, also know by Abba fans as the Dancing King, was conducting the service, and when he asked if there was anyone who had a problem with the wedding, Izbooru and Buffy stood up. They declared their undying lust for the handsome stranger, William. He looked chuffed and said he�d marry the winner of a three way fight to the death. The women agreed, confident they�d win. Then Ruto looked at the two warrior women, and suddenly decided to pull a muscle in a fin so she had to pull out. Therefore a fight to the death was organised for Buffy and Izbooru for the following day, in Lon Lon Ranch. Buffy went to find a shop to buy a weapon or twenty, whilst Izbooru and Nazbooru went to see Linky to steal Din�s fire, Nayru�s Love and some cool fire and ice arrows. They knew the physical fighting may be tough, but with magic spells, Buffy would lose, and Izbooru could marry the bleached blonde salesman.

No one had seen William since he left the �wedding� although everyone knew he�d attend the fight, in Lon Lon Ranch. Everyone was getting ready for the event of the year. The Gorons invaded the Kokiri forest via the lost woods tunnel porthole thingy. They were scared to come down the Death Mountain because of those little red spidery things at the bottom. Besides, they were lured by hearing the hot beat of Saria�s song emanate from the porthole. The Kokiri welcomed their trespassers except Mido, who went up to each of them telling them to go away, but being bear hugged by each of them. He ended up being a long, incredibly thin kokiri, after all that squeezing. At Lon Lon Ranch, Linky sat with Epona and Malon, whom he also suspected was his sister, as well as Princess Zelda, and Ruto. Eeeewwwww. His mum must have been very horny indeed!!!

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Last edited 04:47 13/07/01 by Izbooru.