As Buffy and Izbooru walked up to the bleached blond salesman, an idea occurred to Izbooru. Having seen him, even for a moment, as a woman shaped object, she wanted him to prove himself as a man. She would send him on a daring quest for the Chocolate Body paint of Justice. If he was able to retrieve this sacred and valuable item, she would indeed consent to date him.

His reaction was one of shock and fear. Would he be able to do it? He thought to himself that he is a very persuasive man who is very strong and powerful and can fight any enemy for the prospect of marrying a Queen. Buffy, when she heard the proposition and his acceptance, was very intrigued. She was no longer in lust with the salesman, but rather had her eye on someone else. While Izbooru was talking, she noticed someone leaving. He turned around and smiled at her. He looked so innocent and sensitive, a complete change from the bad guy type she had so often been attracted to. So, she said her goodbyes to the salesman, and wished him luck, saying that she wanted to know how it all turned out.

Satisfied, Izbooru and Nazbooru left the Ranch and stole two horses to get back to Gerudo Valley (they were thieves, after all). Nazbooru congratulated her fellow Queen on looking cool and in control of a man with the bonus of the reward that he would get.

The Chocolate Body Paint jar of justice was more than just a mythical item, and was known to be found in the Sacred Realm. He would lift out the master sword in the Temple of Time and open the doors to the Sacred Realm. Once there he would have to simply find it. This would probably prove quite easy, but so that Izbooru was sure he would return, she invited him over and provided him with Gerudo warrior gear, cool swords, gauntlets and a mirror shield. He felt very brave and a real fighter and kissed her before leaving the Gerudos and their valley, to go to the Temple of Time.

Once in the Temple of Time, the salesman saw someone there. A man and a woman, both rather young and in the middle of some kind of ceremony. Not wanting to disturb them, he walked around them quietly, and was about to pick up the Master Sword, when he heard the man's voice. "Don't pick that up!" The salesman, William, turned around, looking his usual confused self. It was Linky the Hero of Time. He was getting married to Malon from Lon Lon Ranch. "If you go to the Sacred Realm, you'll let out Ganondorf. He's sealed in there." Linky said, not wanting to fight Ganondorf again. Beginners' luck, he thought, and if he had to fight again, he would definitely lose. William didn't care at all about some stupid kid and his enemy and opened the door to the sacred realm.

William opened his eyes to see Rauru, the sage of Light. Having introduced himself and his mission to the sage, William asked if Rauru knew where this chocolate body paint was. Rauru warned of the dangers of opening the doorway between worlds and releasing Ganondorf. This was turning into a lecture so William did the only thing he knew how and knocked Rauru out cold. He was rather annoying and besides, William wanted this jar and his date soon or he'd be too horny to think clearly. Not that he ever did think clearly! He looked around. All he could see were some large disc shaped platforms with light beams coming down onto them. Around him was nothing but empty blackness and not a damned jar in sight. He wondered what the golden goddesses were thinking, making justice a jar of chocolate body paint. They must have been lonely and horny, with no gods around, and only two other females for company. Suddenly he saw someone chained up on another platform. It was a tall large man, who had green skin and lots of armour. He called over to this man and asked him for the jar. Ganondorf replied that he'd trade the jar for freedom. Thinking with his heart (or organ situated between the legs) William decided to trade. He jumped over to that platform and demanded the jar. Ganondorf said he'd take him to it if he could follow William back to Hyrule. He agreed to the deal and unchained Ganondorf. True to his word, the Gerudo king led William to the jar, hidden on a secret shrine to the goddesses. William, being a not incredibly smart man, allowed the king to follow him back to Hyrule, unaware that he would be leading an evil man back to his tribe of warriors.

By the time they had gotten back to the Temple of Time, Linky and Malon had finished their wedding ceremony and had left. Nobody in the Castle Market town noticed Ganondorf leave the Temple, as they were all busy chasing chickens and looking for little Richard. There were shouts of "He's over here!" and replies of "My dog's coat is much nicer, that's not him. Keep looking!". William shook Ganondorf's hand and left him there, so he could return to his loving Izbooru.

In the meantime, Izbooru and Nazbooru had just heard a rumour about Buffy and her new man. They were shocked at the news although relieved that she was not after William the salesman. There was also another nasty rumour going around that William was not a Hylian, but instead a nasty demonic creature. A HUMAN LAWYER. The idea was so awful and blood-chilling that Izbooru could only dismiss it as jealous spite. Then, she saw him arrive, in his long black coat. He looked so much more like a man than an inflated Impa. She was very happy. Nazbooru had fallen into a pit of depression. She and Izbooru were like family. Now she was going to lose her fellow Queen to a stupid lawyer man. Izbooru said she was just jealous, but it was more than wishing it were her getting together with someone. She wanted life as it was, with no one else. Just Nazbooru and her friend. Now she'd be the lonely one that they'd visit when they were bored. So when she saw William she ran to her room and locked herself up there. Izbooru didn't notice. All she cared about was a jar and the man it was held by. That jar would be so useful, with its powers of justice, and also would be rather fun, she thought. But the fun thought was too disgusting for her to contemplate so she just focused on his high and very pronounced cheekbones.

William took Izbooru by the hand and led her away on their first official date. He would take her to a beautiful spot on Death Mountain and watch the moon, rise, set and the consequent sunrise. He had been there before and the sight was so beautiful, he knew it would be the ideal romantic spot. He was right. The sight was awe inspiring, as was he, when he killed some annoying red jumping spider things that were getting in the way of the view. Izbooru was so happy.

As the night progressed, Ganondorf was felling lonely. He had dreamt about returning and claiming his rightful place as king of the Gerudos, if not all of Hyrule. He thought he'd conquer the Gerudos first. So he got on his black horse and rode across the valley up to the fortress. He dismounted, and walked straight into the throne room, leaving a large pile of unconscious Gerudo bodies in his wake. He saw Nazbooru crying in the throne room and knelt down on the carpet in front of her. He offered himself to her and told her he would be her king, the king she needed, longed for and would obey without question. She was shocked. It had been so long since she had seen Ganondorf, as he had left the Gerudos years ago to conquer Hyrule. She told him to stand up and he kissed her hand. She was cautious but impressed at his gentlemanlike behaviour. She stood up, and he leant forward to kiss her. They shared a passionate kiss before she pushed him away and ran to her room. He left the valley, with an evil grin, muttering that he'd be back.

The next day, William returned Izbooru to her fortress with her jar and said goodbye. Nazbooru was convinced that they had done more than talked all night. She therefore, decided not to tell Izbooru of her encounter with Ganondorf. Instead, they sat on their thrones in silence watching Buffy. Neither wanted to talk about their night, in fear of the jealous reaction of the other. In the end the silence was broken by Buffy. She burst in and told the Queens to attend her wedding. It seemed everyone in Hyrule was getting married. They couldn't believe that Buffy would marry someone like him. They agreed however, and couldn't wait to see the wedding.

That night, Izbooru went on her second date with her William, who was now her official boyfriend. He took her to Lake Hylia to go fishing. She had never been fishing before so he had to help her, which they both enjoyed. Meanwhile, Ganondorf returned to the Gerudo Fortress. Having found Nazbooru, he grabbed her by the hand and led her to the Temple of Time. He wanted to show her the beauty of the Sacred Realm. She was so impressed that when he asked if she would agree to go out with him again, she agreed.

Linky and Malon were on their honeymoon in the sacred realm (they thought they might as well go, since William had opened the door). They were enjoying the peace, tranquillity and more importantly, the privacy. They had left the Ranch in the capable hands of Ingo, who had promised he wouldn't take over it again. They forgot to tell him to look after Epona well, and not let anyone hurt her, whilst she slept in the stables. Ingo, wanting some more money, decided he'd auction Epona to the highest bidder. The news of the auction reached every corner in Hyrule, except to her owners. The next day, everyone showed up in the Ranch, and paid their 50 rupees entrance fee each. Nazbooru wanted it as a present for Ganondorf. Izbooru wanted it for William the (bloody!!) salesman. Ganondorf and William also wanted her for their prospective girlfriends. The problem was that they had all come in disguise, so the present would be a secret. The Happy Mask shop owner had never had a busier day, with 4 masks sold. So the four lovers were engaged in a tense and gripping battle for this beautiful horse. It eventually sold for a huge total of 2,444,724 rupees, bought by a mystery bidder. He wore a different mask, one never seen by anyone in Hyrule. He mentioned that his name was Majora, which sounded totally foreign to all the Hylians. An angry William, Izbooru, Nazbooru, and Ganondorf returned their mask to the now not so happy mask shop owner.

The day of Buffy's wedding was getting nearer. She had her beautiful white dress all ready, and decided to have the wedding performed in the shadow temple, as it was fitting for a vampire slayer to get married amongst ghosts and zombies. Her fiancé was looking forward to the wedding and had his tuxedo all ready. She thought he looked so cute in his outfit.

Meanwhile, in Gerudo valley, Izbooru confessed to Nazbooru that she had fallen in love with William the salesman. So Nazbooru had to respond by telling her that she had fallen for Ganondorf. He was so right for her, being strong, brave and a Gerudo. They wanted to marry their men straight away, but had to prepare for Buffy's first. They weren't best pleased when they found out that they had to travel from the far west to the far east of Hyrule to go to a stupid wedding. Their weddings would be in the Temple of Spirit, naturally, and Buffy was so unlucky not to have a temple of her own. They were also a little annoyed that Linky had married Malon without telling anyone. If William had not told Izbooru, they would never have known about it.

The wedding day finally arrived. Buffy was waiting in the entrance room with all the lit torches, which it turns out was very romantic. She was wearing a beautiful white dress and veil. Her hair was loose and she was standing at the altar waiting for her fiancé to arrive. His horse was heard neighing outside and into the temple walked none other than...




Goron Link.

He was so cute in his little tux that wouldn't quite button up at the front. He walked down the aisle, sat down and curled up in a little ball. Buffy had to kick him a couple of times before he sat up then got up. They said their vows and kissed before Buffy threw her bouquet into the congregation. The lakeside laboratory man caught it and said "Uh Hoy Hoy Huey Hoy Hoy! I'll eat this tonight", before Nazbooru snatched it off him and smiled at Ganondorf. Right then, Ganondorf proposed, knowing she'd say yes. She did, so then William felt adventurous and proposed to Izbooru. She agreed and they said they'd plan a double wedding.

Then there was a problem. With two queens, there was never an issue of land sharage, as they made the same decisions and were good friends. But now, as they were getting married and planning loads of little Gerudos children, they would need to sort out who would have which area of land, to leave to their children. This was a tough problem as Ganondorf wanted it all for him and his fiancée and William wanted a lot, not just to sell, but to keep some for his fiancée.

They would have to settle it. To do this they called in the Gerudo warrior who was chief of Security. She was called Cheebooru and she would decide who should rightfully own which bits of land. She was the wisest Gerudo in the valley and decided on a 50 - 50 split, with good features of the land being divided equally. She worked it out perfectly, and places like the oasis, training ground, great fairy fountain, and horseriding game should be owned jointly and the public should be allowed access. This was a very wise decision, and so the Gerudo kingdom was split. They would all remain very friendly so no wars would ever break out.

To be continued...