Ingo had spent all day putting out seats for people coming to watch the fight, which would be held in the horse corral- and Talon was dozing in the chicken shed, as usual, while Ingo grumbled about how hard he had to work. Of course he was charging 10 rupees entrance fee, (5 for children, students, OAPs and the guy from the Lakeside Laboratory who says "Uhoy hoy huoy hoy hoy"! - as one does), so he wasn�t grumbling too loudly.

The time for the fight drew near - it would happen at noon - and almost everyone was there. Ruto was still wearing her hideous blueberry meringue dress, and alternately wishing for her fianc� back and for the white dress she�d seen. Saria sat near Linky on a chair that was too big for her (yet again) and Darunia broke five chairs before he realised they simply wouldn�t hold his weight, and then curled up on the floor like all the other Gorons. There were only three people left to arrive now - Buffy, Izbooru and the man they were fighting for.

Five minutes before noon, the combatants strode into the ring, (the horses that were usually there were all in their stables), to a huge round of applause. A few insults were exchanged - mostly based on Buffy�s blondness and Izbooru�s polygonal-ness - and then both girls did a few exercises as they waited for the referee of the fight (Impa) to explain the rules.

"You two will fight, according to the ancient rules of the Sheikah. Even though you are female, you are both trained fighters - so no hair-pulling, scratching or Chinese burns. And no slapping."

Buffy and Izbooru were both listening but most of the men in the audience were staring at Impa�s chest, which seemed to be...GROWING? The men stared for a full 30 seconds, when...

BANG!

Apparently, Impa�s breasts had burst (don�t say I didn�t warn you). Everyone stared in shock at her, and then Buffy whispered something to Izbooru, who nodded, and they both attacked Impa. Well, not quite attacked, more pulled her hair to reveal...

...a wig? What was up with Impa anyway?

"�Scuse us" Izbooru apologised to the crowd and she and Buffy did a more thorough job this time. After a few minutes they moved away, to reveal...




... the bleached blonde salesman!

There was another huge gasp from the crowd, followed by a lot of muttering. After a lot of shouting, however, the blonde guy managed to get the crowd�s attention and explain.

Apparently he wanted to see which of them liked him the most, so he could judge the match in their favour, and the real Impa was tied up in Hyrule Castle, he said, with Zelda. However, having seen him in disguise as Impa, neither Buffy nor Izbooru fancied him as much now, and said so. Actually, they didn�t tell him - they just did what strong women do best and punched him a couple of times, then walked off and gossiped about Simpsons episodes. Even Ruto didn�t fancy him anymore - and besides, if she didn�t have to get married, she wouldn�t have to wear her ridiculous dress anymore. The audience left, with everyone disappointed except for Ingo, who was charging a 10 rupee fee to leave. Finally, only Buffy, Izbooru, Nazbooru and the salesman were left. The Gerudo queens thanked Buffy for her visit, and she signed their t-shirts before pole vaulting over the wall of the ranch (thus avoiding paying Ingo) and headed back to Sunnydale. The Gerudos then turned their attention back to the bleached blonde salesman...

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Last edited 04:54 13/07/01 by Izbooru.