The Tales of Kinky Linky

Deku: Now, Princess Ruto, you were...-close- to Link, weren't you?

Ruto: Well, when I first met him he promised to marry me. It was love at first sight - I knew we were meant to be together, forever. Then he had to run off to see her (she glares at Zelda), and... (sniff) and I didn't see him again for seven whole years! It's all Zelda's fault...

Zelda snatches the microphone from Ruto.

Zelda: Look, girl, Link explained all this to me a few months ago. This whole marriage thing was just a mistake - he'd never want to marry someone like you, not when there are people he can at least stand to be around for more than five seconds...